Regrets, we all have them! But again, it’s what we do with each one that’s most important, and when we allow regrets to keep our focal point on the past, we are setting ourselves up again for failure. This is something I have come to realize – but to realize this it had to take a very emotional filled day in my life, and that day for me was the past Sunday.

So what do I do Accept the Unchangeable and should I Change the Unacceptable? So here I am pondering about whether my husband feels the same way about the state of our marital union as I do, especially going into this year. I got confronted again with something from our past which reared its head, my husband was involved in his club and got promoted up the ranks and with it brought on new responsibilities for me in the past, I put my heart and soul into it as I enjoyed it, but little did I know I was putting in all the effort and working my bum off every day and every weekend and he was lounging around in hotels. So after it all collapsed the way it did (long story) he joined somewhere else and I didn’t get involved. I never thought that we would by any means go back to anything similar, but boy oh boy I was so wrong, so again last night he got promoted and while I should be really happy for him I am more skeptical and almost more nervous than ever. When you got home to tell me the news last night all I wanted to do is lay there and cry. It just feels like I am being punished again. Feels like I am living my life over, feels like it is all Deja-vu. Oh boy I just don’t know right now what to do or how to react. I am feeling a bit lost and at a loss for words. (But enough about that for now)

On the more positive side, I have managed to work on myself. I have come to realize that I will never be able to change him (But I shouldn’t even want to change him). I can pray for him, I can be supportive of him and that I already did and do. So I asked myself the question, so what now? I decided to go back and take a good deep look at myself. I am looking into the “me” who am I…

Here is the BIGGEST QUESTION OF ALL

WHO ARE YOU REALLY? And the answers I have right now is little, but I am going to work on this and as I go along I am going to share my discovery. Why? Just because I feel like sharing it and maybe just maybe someone could come across it and it can help or safe them.

Honestly – someone saved me from where I have been in the deep pits of darkness – 2 ladies have taken my hands and they have started to bring me closer to light. I have come to realize that I cannot just live for him, I am supposed to live for me too. So Cheers – this is to me taking the leap of faith – I AM GOING TO LIVE