The last couple of days gave me a lot of time to reflect. To really look inside myself and to think about the things I have done in life, the things I want to do and the things I don’t want to do or don’t want in my life.
It is so strange to sit all by yourself and think about all these things, while there is people around you. Everyone busy with their own things, busy with their own life, busy with their own communication and their own things. Life stop for no one, you are either part of the gravy train or you stay behind…
I am however at a place where I believe that I have made decisions! I think that I have set new goals and that I have also decided what I will and wont allow in my life going forward. Yes it all seems so easy, but it’s not easy. I have lost people in my life because of the fact that I haven’t made a decision to just divorce and get it over with, I have lost people because I haven’t told anyone whether I will proceed with the divorce or not, I have lost people merely because they are no longer willing to put up with me and what ever I am going through, but I know now, more than ever, that I am able to stand alone. I am able to look after myself, and that I don’t need people to get by. I can do it on my own and if they don’t want to stand with me or be a friend or whatever then so be it.
The New Year is going to be tough, but I have decided to make changes for myself, changes that I will only do for me and if anyone doesn’t like it then oops!
I just need to look out for myself going forward, if I don’t No one else will…
So here is a closing thought:
What does Love mean?
And why is it so easy to use those words to say I love you?
But then you go and Break someone but still love them?
How on earth does that make sense…