So where do I actually start with this. Okay wait, let me start by saying that this is only my view and this is only how I feel right now.
So you know the emails which started this whole process / journey of my life, well it’s wonderful (Sarcastic, So irritated) it is still in progress. For some reason I have not yet heard the end of it and my mood is constantly impacted by it. No I have not yet found out any more information apart from something small… a flowers message which apparently isn’t true, but I have no means to validate it. anyway back to the message. It is difficult as it is to open my eyes and move one foot in front of the other, I am just down and out and I know that I will be fine, I talk about everything and I know that I will get through this, but it is just another phase. So these emails is adding to how I feel, and honestly it is because I feel like this (and before you continue reading, This is my pity party, if you don’t like it stop reading at any point)
- I know – why is it that it is good enough for one person (spouse) to have found out and that needs to carry this burden and work through these emotions and the other adulterers and their spouses carries on with life as normal
- They should – why shouldn’t they find out, why shouldn’t they be pushed to the limits I have been pushed
- Them – why should the ladies get away with the hurt they caused me and they can carry on with their happy family and keep lying
- When – when will they get their turn to be misserable
- What – what will they get in return, like I see it, all they are getting is a happy life and I have a daily struggle
- How – How fair is life? Why should some of us keep getting the shit and others that cause shit is happy
- Me – How the hell am I suppose to work through what I feel
- Karma – So I have a question here, do people really get what they deserve, so that means if we say that Karma will never loose their address (Like the picture in this mail) that means that what happened here was part of my Karma right? and if so, when the hell are they getting theirs
- Revenge – Will any type of revenge ever take away what you feel. You can never take revenge on someone and *Poof* there everything is better. So how do you even get some sort of satisfaction. they say you should just continue with life and that should be okay, but HOW?
- Doubt – I have so many doubts right now, I have so many questions and I really don’t feel like I have anyone I can rely and talk too. I have people but I don’t have the closeness to them right now and I don’t really trust saying anything to anyone. I know that this will pass soon, but till it does I needs to deal with the feelings.
- Why was I the girl who got the short end of this stick… always have and looks like i always will…
anyway… pity party over and out