continue on Divorce…

We spent a lot of time there in silence and then talking and silence again, and talking, until I just couldn’t sat there anymore. Here is the thing, from past experience he would say he doesn’t want it, just to tell me an hour later he wants it, then I was too quick to arrange everything and then he didn’t care, so what on earth was I to believe here:

But then my questions started – and honestly, this is where I think I will just lose my shit because what none of them know is that I have much more proof than what anyone of them will ever suspect, if I wanted to I could cause a lot of damage in their marriages as well, and I do feel like it some days, but I haven’t yet (and I am saying yet, because I am still dealing with my own things and have not made up my mind as to what I want to do with everything)

Now here is about all the questions I asked and answers where there were answers, and also like always my little comments and understanding in the brackets… and do note that the questions are not in any particular order, I just had them jotted down so I could ask them


  • Tell me, what type of gifts did you buy them?
    • I bought perfume (this is known, very expensive perfume)
    • I bought flowers (about every week this was don I have never received flowers in about 20 years, and no I’m not bitter)
    • I bought the kids something when they needed it. For one of the ladies cupcakes for her kids and suitcases for the kids for the other.
  • What was the most expensive gift you bought for anyone of them?
    • I never bought anything more expensive than about 2000 (I believe this to be another lie, I have a little proof stating differently, but I have not confirmed this with him, I wanted him to tell me the truth and he keeps saying the same amount)
  • Where did you buy the jewellery?
    • The jewellery store and he gave me the names
  • Can I see your bank statements? And if not why?
    • No (just no, really just no?)
    • I don’t want you to see the past. I need us to forget about the past and start new (yeah, maybe because you know that there is much more going on there than what you want me to confirm)
  • Can I see your other statements like jewellery account?
    • There is nothing to see on there, but I will send it to you (He showed this to me on his phone, and there is nothing there)
  • Why did you stop telling me personal things, why didn’t you want to share things with me anymore
    • You have been talking to one of your friends, this friend have a past in our life and I figured that if it is okay for you to talk to her and do your own thing, then surely I can do my own thing too. (Now let me give you a quick update on this friend, this friend got to meet him through me, we worked together, she is a lesbian lady, one time over Christmas we went out the day and went drinking, on our way back, I fell asleep in the car, and woke up to him screaming that she is getting sick in the car. When we arrived home, she started to confront him about something, and after a huge fight and a trip to the emergency services as he hit his hand on the table and we thought it broke, he then confirmed that because I was asleep, she felt him up a bit and then he returned the favour and put his hand down her pants… I will leave the rest up for the imagination)
  • Are you and Lady 1 is still talking except for work
    • We have never really talked; we never really used any kind of messaging system to talk to one another. The only time we did talk was at work. There was never messages sent between us, so yes we talk now, but it is on a work bases
    • There is no longer anything between us, so there is nothing awkward between us so we do talk and there is nothing wrong with it (Yes buddy I find there is something wrong with it, not because you talk, but apparently talking got you both to where you were sleeping together right?)
  • How long ago has the relationship ended with Lady 1
    • About 5 months ago and we have been together for about 3
  • Are you and Lady 2 is still talking except for work
    • No – she blocked me on all messaging applications as well as calls. I have asked her that we talk this out, but she is not willing to talk to me
  • How long has the relationship been going on for
    • About 3 months
  • Why did you decide to cheat
    • It just happened
    • We just clicked
    • I don’t know why, it just happened and I was never going to give up my marriage
  • Where did you find the time to sleep with them
    • I can get off work anytime I want, we normally planned it during their half days, off days or with Lady 1 after work on a Saturday (this is news to me, you never take off from work, you never even take off when I needed you after anything, not even after operations, so they are lucky)
  • Where did their husbands think they are
    • Lady 1 – well her husband knew she was working, we quickly did it and then off she went home to her husband and kids, there were also times that he arrived, and then we just left it because she had to leave with him
    • Lady 2 – well it was planned for a specific day, her husband didn’t know where she was really, and the one kid was sick so she didn’t go to work
    • We also don’t really speak during the day because we are both busy, so I knew that you wouldn’t be phoning me
  • Except for the sleeping together what else did you do
    • Look we went out to eat something quickly at fast food restaurants like McDonalds or Burger king. We never met up to do something else
  • If I was to forgive you, will you allow it to happen again
    • I can promise you that I will do my best, I cannot tell you whether it will happen again, but I can promise I will do my best not to let it happen again and if it does this time I would rather tell you
  • Will you be prepared to see a marriage counsellor with me
    • I don’t believe this shit works
  • If we agree to try and make this work, will you try the (Fireproof book) love dare with me
    • What the hell is it, no why do you want to do something like that
  • How many ladies were there
    • There were many ladies I kissed and touched during the time we were married
    • There were only Lady 1 and Lady 2 that I have slept with
  • How many people knew about your affairs
    • Only 2 people. 2 Friends, the one saw the interaction between me and lady 1 and asked me if there was something, initially I denied it, but he did put 1 and 1 together after which I confirmed
    • Only 1 friend knew about Lady 2, the friend found out based on the fact that that we wanted to track down the person sending the emails, so based on some of the emails send to the friend, he obviously read the content and that’s how he knows
  • How am I supposed to move on from this
    • You just needs to let it go in order for us to move on
    • I told both ladies that it is their own shit if the truth comes out like it did with me. I told them to rather tell their own husbands. Lady 1 kept on saying that she will deny it till she can no longer deny it, and Lady 2 doesn’t want any further contact
    • I called Lady 2 to ask her that we need to talk things about between us as everything was up in the air, but she refuses
    • I don’t care what happens anymore, I have decided that I want my marriage to work, I have switched off from them and don’t care what happens
    • I would like for them to go through the same hell as me, I would like for their families and husbands to find out the same as with me, because now that this is out for me, they aren’t even willing to stand by me, they weren’t even strong enough to confess to having the affair even with you having all the details. I hope that karma finds them too
  • Did you receive the gift I sent you at work
    • Yes thank you
  • Why didn’t you say anything before I asked
    • Because I thought it was the person sending the emails that sent it, because of the card
  • Why do you feel that everyone will still be judge, receive their own Karma
    • Everyone will, I got mine and I had to be open and honest, they want to hide everything and not confess, why should they not, they should both confess and deal with the consequences of their actions
  • Why was s@x with them so awesome
    • I don’t know, maybe because it was something new, maybe because it was someone new
  • Did you always use protection
    • I didn’t want to use protection, but they were to scared that they might become pregnant and then because of the procedures their husbands had there would be no way to explain the pregnancy
  • You were lucky, did it never break, and how did you always have protection
    • It never broke
    • I always bought especially at the times I booked the hotels, it was easy to get as you buy it from various places
    • I also left them in my cupboard at work
  • Look you said that there is no guarantee it wouldn’t happen again, and honestly you haven’t tried all the races yet, so honestly would you want to get that in as well
    • No I am done
  • How can you say that you’re done, why so easy
    • Because I can see the hurt that I have caused
    • I see your hurt, and I feel the hurt
    • I feel the pain, I am humiliated and feel let down by them as well
  • Why didn’t you ever do something like you did for them for me
    • I didn’t feel like spending money on you anymore

And after all this, we basically, got home, unpacked the things we bought at the grocery store, cooked and had something to eat, cleaned up a bit and sat watching television until we went to sleep.

He called me the 19th of September and told me that he will have to go out on a 3 hours’ drive out of town to deliver something and he wanted me to travel with, so I made the necessary plans to go to his office a bit earlier for me to go with him and then….

5 thoughts on “continue on Divorce…

  1. Beignme – he has said he cannot promise he won’t cheat again – he is telling you everything you need in order to make an informed decision about your life.

    He clearly has a lot of issues, and being that he has acted out inappropriately in sexual manners many times with many different women, he needs serious help.

    He cannot help himself or stop, and he is even telling you this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There is a lot of questions, do you think you have the truthful answers, or did you get the answers which he believed you wanted to hear. From reading your post it almost seems like he is telling you more what you want to hear to settle your mind.

    Do you really think that the relationship with these ladies are over? How is it possible to just let everything go when you have been so emotionally invested, and surely if it is so easy to just let go of someone, what will stop him from doing this over and over again. It almost seems as if he has no emotions for anyone, is that even healthy?

    Liked by 1 person

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