Adding more to the mix

Continuing… let me add the rest of the information so it makes better sense…
Here we start on the month of August, and what a start it was, because as you would have noted in my previous post I mentioned that I started to note the online behavior between my husband and Lady 2 (Which he lied about), anyway… Well the 1st of August started with my Husband blocking me on the chat platform we used… Yeah, you read it, he blocked me, so I figured that this is the start to our end… and I made the call to the attorney and got the information about divorce and sent that off to him. We then visited the attorney a couple of day later and I must be honest and say that the process feels so awkward, I am not sure if this is the feeling for everyone, but I was sitting there, high on emotion, he sat there and just spew off everything he wanted and needed and wanted to keep, I agreed to some, disagreed to some and just wanted to make this process quick and easy. Lucky for me the attorney didn’t let me walk out of there giving up everything, but that was how I felt. I felt like my 20 years worth of life meant nothing, that 20 years worth of earthly belongings was all a lie. We collected lies, we didn’t make sweet memories, we didn’t have anything that wasn’t bought without deceit. I know that it is not all true, but please believe me when I tell you that this is how I felt when I sat there, and I felt the same when I left the offices. I just felt like I knew the person to whom I have been married to. It felt like i have collected and wanted to see us grow, but on the other hand, I have worked and collected and did these kind of things but it all got ripped from underneath me. In a blink of an eye the things I valued in our home and the things we had became objects that no longer matter, that I saw as objects that was obtained just for the sake of having to have it, and it all felt empty…….

During this month, he bought Lady 2 expensive perfume and he bought her lovely flowers which were delivered at their offices, but this time round he didn’t have any more money that the both of us saved up, it was all used and spent, so the credit card started to come out.

Again how did I find out, well a close friend of mine went to the same shopping center and called me, saying that she didn’t want to spoil the surprise but I will be getting some expensive perfume, she told me that I will get spoiled and that she wanted to smell it as soon as I get it, I got excited knowing that I will be getting something, but that something never came, however that same night he came home, he told me that someone visited their work who was selling perfume, he complained about how expensive perfume have become, and as I told him that nice perfumes are expensive he said that he would never spend that kind of money on it. He made me smell his arm where he tested the perfume and it was a real manly type of smell, but it didn’t smell that great. I told him that it was lovely, but that he should look for something little different, because there might be even better perfumes that will smell great on him. I asked if he bought anything and again he said no, but I knew he did, but I left it. A couple of days afterwards i confronted him, I told him that someone saw him buying perfume and I wanted to know for whom he bought it, he then told me that he bought himself perfume, that he didnt want to tell me because I would freak out because of the price, and again I left it. Then over month end, I went to his office, as we were sitting there spending some time talking, I remembered the perfume, so I asked him. I said hey, remember you told me that you bought yourself some perfume, I would love to smell it, can I smell it please, so he turned around and told me that he only had a sample, so I said wow a sample cost you so expensive I can’t believe it. He said that he didn’t say he bought anything, to which I reminded him that my friends saw him, and he then confirmed that he bought it for her… and the flowers, well he confessed about the flowers at a later stage but he did tell me that he bought her flowers, but I knew this already, and I knew this because of someone that works with him, who mentioned these lovely flowers being delivered to her and when they asked her about it, she mentioned that she didn’t know from whom they were, so the person kind of started to put 2 and 2 together, called me and mentioned it, maybe to see what I would say or do, but I didn’t say or do anything, when they told me she got the most lovely flowers I just said lucky girl, because guess what, she was lucky to get flowers.

But what else happend… Yes there is more… adding more to the mix

I started to look for things in our home, things just randomly disappeared or showed up at places where you would never expect them, and one of these little things was my power bank.  I was looking for it due to the fact that I was using it to charge my things at work, also because I knew that he would be using it for a trip he would be going on. I knew exactly where I would always store it and it was just not there, I started searching high and low, and was kind of freaked out because I couldn’t find it. So I asked him, but you see, after this I received another email which told me to stop looking because he has it, and when I asked him he just point blank told me he didn’t. I asked him to maybe check at work, and he came back on a message saying it must be at home, it felt like I was going crazy, it felt like I didn’t know what I was doing or where I was saving things, I just felt like my world kept becoming this slippery slope, and I was losing my footing.

and then… I lost the plot… and the lies becomes more and the plot thicken…

Want to know how I lost the plot, well I hope you come back to read, and like always your comments are welcome…



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