Back in time

So where do one begin with these things. Dating back, starting fresh, I have started and deleted so many post over the years, I have started and deleted so many diary entries its actually scary how many, but after I had a very long discussion with people, friends and a professional, I know it is best for me to write these things down.

You see, I don’t have a husband that really talk about feelings (well not to me), he doesn’t even want to talk about the feelings he is harboring from the past and from the now ladies he had in his life. It might sound really strange that I call them that but right now I don’t have the correct naming for them, and i am sure with time i will be able to find something suitable.

Ok so let me back date…

Way back – we met in school, we have been dating from school years, and then shortly after I matriculated we got married. Today I wonder if it is not because of that. You know we were both young and naive, we have not yet experienced life, and both of us committed ourselves in marriage not really knowing what potentially could be out there. We enjoyed life together and it was fun.

Fast Forward – So here I am forwarding, to around 2005.. Life as I knew it changed, only slightly for me, but if only I knew how big life actually changed. He got a new job, from being in a small privately owned company to a more commercial type. Anyway he would work very long hours and i spent a lot of these hours there. Some times I would not spend the hours there and would be home, and he would work and afterwards he would go out with a bunch of people he worked with… and life was good

Another Fast Forward – Here we forward to around 2015, Life Changed (I didn’t know it did, but it did). He and a work colleague started having an affair. How it started I don’t know, he does not talk about the details, all I know is that she reports to him. They worked together some weekends and after work they hooked up, slept together and then went to their spouses. Yes you read correctly, Spouses. She is married with 2 children and he is married with no children yet (Also something that I will elaborate on later on these post.) During this time I didn’t know anything, didn’t see anything, I was so blind. The timing might be slightly off, because no one is validating it, but it’s the correct years

Forward 2018 the here and now – So apparently she asked him somewhere in around May to break it off after the affair for around 2 almost 3 years, she apparently wanted to work on her relationship with her husband (now as far as I understand they both agreed to sleeping together but not gibing up their spouses for one another) he then agreed, and I believe they work like friends together (well that’s what he says. There is no hard feelings, or any emotional feelings anymore). Then in June he started another relationship with a lady who again is married, again have 2 children but this time round her believes and culture were different. This continued till August 2018. How do I know, well I know this because that was the month my life, love, everything I was came tumbling down… and that is why these post started…

This is becoming the Dear diary… what a mess…


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